Occasionally, at times, sometimes

Occasionally I think about killing myself
by driving my car off a bridge
or into a brick-building
I imagine how the steering-wheel smashes
my expensive pearly-white-hollywood-teeth in
or crushes my rib-cage
I think about that approximately 10 minutes a week
while I am stopping at a traffic light or making dinner

At times I think about getting myself fired from my job
by letting them know how incapable I really am
or by selling company secrets on the internet
I imagine how the door to my office opens
and they tell me to clear my desk
and return my cafeteria-card
I think about that approximately 5 minutes a day
while I am reading the paper or talking on the phone

Sometimes I wonder what it is that is wrong with me:
Thinking these things makes me strangely happy and content